Chapter 23 ~ The War Against Myself

Innocence is Strength.....nothing else is strong.  True Strength has no enemies.  Belief in enemies is belief in my "separation from" God.  This separation is a figment of my dreams, not the Will of God.  God has no enemies.

Walk in Glory with my head held high and fear no evil.  For evil exists only in dreams.  If I perceive evil, I can be sure I am dreaming.  Do not give up Freedom for a tiny stirring of guilt's attraction.  Would I give up Heaven for decay, loss and death?  My Glory is beyond this.  I am frightened and alone in my world of temptation.  I need only look beyond it to perceive the Light of which I am a Part.  How can I realize that Heaven's Glory shines on me as I walk trembling in a fearful world? I am Innocent, and my Awareness of my Innocence will Light the way.

Everything around me is a part of me; look on it lovingly and see in it the Light of Heaven.  In this, I will come to understand All that has been given me.  In kind forgiveness the world will sparkle and shine.  Everything I once thought sinful, will now be reinterpreted by Heaven.

I have taught myself to perceive an existence "apart from" God.  Heaven will teach me to perceive Itself.  Then perception is quickly translated into Reality, and the dream-world is no more.

Irreconcilable Beliefs.  The Memory of God comes to the quiet mind.  It cannot come where there is conflict; for a mind at war against itself will not remember Eternal Gentleness.  Do I not realize that a war against myself is a war on God?  The Son and the Father are One. The death of God, were it even possible, would be my own death.

The war against my Self is almost over.  The journey's end is near.  Will I accept the Peace that is offered me?  The "enemy" I fought is transformed by Truth into the giver of Peace.  My "enemy" was God Himself, to Whom all conflict, attack, even triumph are unknown.  When I believed myself to be separated from God, God Himself seemed to become the enemy.  Yet He Loves me Perfectly...Completely....Eternally.  The Son of God at war with his Creator is a condition as ridiculous as Mother Nature roaring at the wind in anger, saying the wind is no longer part of her.

The war against my Self was undertaken by me to convince myself that I am separated from God, with the Memory of my Father forgotten.  If I think I am a body, I have obviously forgotten my Self. Yet Truth can never be forgotten by Itself, and I have not truly forgotten what I am.

The war against myself is the battle of two illusions:  me as a body "apart from" God......and everything "outside" me.  I struggle to make them different from each other, in the belief that the "winner" will be true.  There is no conflict between anything and Truth.  Both of my illusions are equally untrue, so it does not matter what form they take.  An insane mind created them. Madness holds no danger to and has no influence on Reality.  Illusions do not exist and cannot threaten Truth in any way.

I am as God created me.  I am still the Son of God, no matter what my dreams tell me.  Truth does not fight illusions, illusions battle only with themselves.  If I am dreaming I will see conflict.  In Reality there is no conflict.  One illusion about myself can battle with another, yet the war of two illusions is a state where nothing happens. There is no victor, there is no victory, there is nothing.  Truth stands aside Radiantly, apart from conflict, Untouched and Quiet in the Peace of God.

There is nothing I could attack that is not a part of me.  By attacking, I make two illusions of my Self, one in conflict with the other.  This occurs whenever I feel anything but Love.  Let all madness be undone for me by Heaven, and turn in Peace to remember God Who is still Shining in my quiet mind.

I ~ beloved of God ~ am no illusion.  I am as True and Holy as Himself.  I dwell in Peace as Limitless as my Creator.  Everything is given those who remember Him.  The Peace of God can be disturbed only in dreams.  Peace is the State where Love abides, and Truth will lead me there.  Give God my small willingness and forgive my brother for all that he did not do.

The Laws of Chaos.  The laws of chaos rule the dream-world. The laws of chaos can never be understood.  Their purpose is to make meaningless and oppose Truth.  The laws of chaos witness to, and provide "proof," that I live in a world separated from God.  These are the laws of chaos:

• Truth is different for everyone.  Everyone has their own separate thoughts, each person has their own truth. 
• Every person sins; therefore deserves punishment.  All are "sinners." 
• God hates His Son. I seemingly became my own god in the world of separation.  God is angry that I "separated" myself from Him.
• What I take I have. In order for me to gain, another must lose. In order for another to gain, I must lose.
• There is a substitute for Love, I call it salvation.  I must find salvation "outside" myself....in a special love relationship, status, wealth, intelligence, riches etc.  

All the components of madness are seen here.  The "enemy" hides the valuable inheritance that should be mine.  Maybe the "enemy" is a crooked politician or a terrorist; maybe another woman "stole" my man;  someone "else" got the job that should have gone to me.  I am "justified" in my attack for what rightly should have been mine.  The "enemy" will suffer loss in order for me to save myself.  I am "innocent," defending what is rightfully mine.  Had I not been forced into this foul attack by the unscrupulous behavior of the enemy, I would have responded only with kindness.  But in a savage world, the kind cannot survive.  I cannot be a doormat.  So I must "take" or else be "taken from."

Yet, what is this precious thing, this priceless pearl, this hidden secret treasure to be seized in righteous wrath from this most treacherous and cunning enemy?  Love?  Money? An important job? Special status? Even if I obtained what I desire, it will not satisfy for long; I will look for the next shiny new thing.  So what exactly is "it" that I am looking for?

The reason why I never found "it," is there is NO substitute for Love.  All relationships in the world of illusions have but one purpose:  to find the Heaven....the Love....the God....the Self.....I seemed to separate myself from when I created the dream-world.

My desires will never be satisfied in dreams because in dreams, I will take from my brother and he will take from me, and we will battle it out to the death......and God will send us both to hell for our hatred.

I believe I walk in "sanity" with my feet on solid ground, through a world where meaning can be found.  Yet consider this:  The laws of chaos are the laws which make the ground beneath my feet seem "solid."  They are the laws I made for my "salvation." They are the substitute for Heaven which I currently prefer.  This is their purpose. They were made for this.  There is no point in asking for further meaning.  The means of madness is insane.  Do I realize my goal is madness?

No one wants madness if he truly sees it for what it is.  What protects madness is the belief that madness is what I want and it is "true."  The function of insanity is to take the place of Truth.  Insanity must be seen as "truth" to be believed.  And if madness is "truth" then it must be Opposite Day:  madness=sanity; illusions=Truth; attack=kindness; hatred=Love; murder=salvation.  The Laws of God appear to have been reversed.

Can attack or judgment in any form be Love?  Do not be deceived when madness takes a form I think is lovely.  What is intent on my destruction is not my friend.  I believe the beautiful forms I see, yet I do not recognize their content.  Can I paint rosy lips on a skeleton, dress it in beautiful clothes and make it live?  And can I be content with an "illusion" of Life?

There is no life "outside" Heaven.  Where God created Life, there Life must be.  In any state "apart from" Heaven, all is illusion; at best it appears to be life; at worst, death.  Life outside Heaven is impossible and what is not in Heaven is not anywhere.

Do not take the first step in the descent into hell.  For having taken one, I will not recognize the rest for what they are, and the rest will follow. Attack in any form has placed my foot on the twisted stairway that leads away from Heaven.

Yet, at any instant it is possible to have all this undone.

How can I know which I have chosen?  Quite easily.  How do I feel?  Is Peace in my Awareness?

Salvation Without Compromise.   Attack in any form will hurt only me.  Even a sigh has behind it a world of rage.  Attack in any form is equally destructive.  Its sole intent is murder.  Does that sound exaggerated?  When I consider the purpose of the world I made, does it still sound insane?  Murder is possible only in dreams, but if I could create a world completely opposite to God, would murder not be a part of it?  God creates Life, murder destroys life.

I may deny I am a murderer because I do not kill bodies.  But if behind every small sigh ~ every teeny upset ~ is a world of rage, and everything I experience in my world is the opposite of Eternal Love, then what is left?  I may justify my savage thoughts with smiles as I attack, yet only I will suffer.  No one ponders murder (or anything opposite to Eternal Love) and escapes the guilt which the thought encompasses.  If the intent is death, does it matter what form it takes (a sigh, an annoyance, judgment, murder, etc)?  I rarely recognize the source of my pain.

Is death in any form, however lovely or charitable it may seem to be, a blessing?  The wrapping does not make the gift. An empty box, however beautiful and sweetly given, still contains nothing.  Neither the giver nor the receiver is long fooled.  If I withhold forgiveness from my brother, I attack him, and the intent is murder.

God's salvation has no compromise.  To compromise is to accept some and give up the rest.  Salvation gives up nothing, It is Complete. Compromise is the belief that salvation is impossible.  It would claim that I can attack a little, love a little, and know the difference.  ACIM is easy because it makes no compromise.  It seems difficult only to those who still believe that compromise is possible.  Forgiveness cannot be given "a little."

Do I not want to recognize an assault on my Peace in any form?  Any savage attack against a brother is always directed against myself, and attack on myself is an attack on the Son of God.  There is no compromise for Peace.  Peace is All or nothing.  Love is All or nothing.  Joy is All or nothing.

To be released from conflict means that conflict is over.  I have left the battleground.  I will not linger, for there is no safety in a battleground.  I can look down on it in safety from above.  But from within it I find no safety.  Not one tree left standing will shelter me.  Not one illusion of protection stands against my belief in murder.  Here seems to stand the body, torn between the Natural desire of the Son of God to Communicate, and the unnatural intent of ego to murder and die.

Above the Battleground.  God is my only Place of Safety.  In Him is no attack, in Heaven is no illusion.  Heaven is Wholly True; no differences enter and what is all the same, cannot be in conflict.

I am not asked to fight against my wish to murder, but I am asked to realize the forms it takes.  What is not Love....is murder.  What is not Loving, must be attack.  Every illusion is an assault on Truth.

Murder and Love are incompatible.  Yet if they are both true ~ which they seem to be in the dream-world ~ then they must be the same, therefore indistinguishable from one another.  It is the same for those who see God's Son in a body.  The body is not the temple of God nor is it the home of His Son.  What is lifeless cannot be the home for Life.

God does not share His Function with a body, He shares it with His Son.  It is not sinful to believe the function of the Son is murder, but it is insanity.  God and His Son are One.  Either the Father and the Son are both murderers, or neither is.  Life creates like Itself, and death is not possible.

I can do nothing of myself, except to forgive all that I seem to see and offer God my small willingness.  He understands how to increase my small efforts and make them Mighty.  Be lifted up, and from a higher place look down upon the world of illusions.  From there my perspective will be quite different.  From above, the choice is for miracles instead of murder.  The perspective coming from this choice shows me that the battle is not Real and is easily escaped.  "Bodies" may battle, but clash of form is meaningless.  The battle is over when I realize it was never begun.

When the temptation to attack rises to darken my mind, remember:  I can see the battle from above. The temptation to attack comes in many forms, some I may not recognize:  a stab of pain, a twinge of guilt and above all, loss of Peace.  When I feel anything other than Peace, quickly choose a miracle instead of murder and God Himself ~ and all the Lights of Heaven ~ will Gently bend to hold me up.  For I have chosen to remain with my Father and no illusion can attack the Peace of God together with His Son.

See no one from the battleground, for I am looking only on illusion, but I will think it is "real."  Only bodies attack and murder, and if I see myself as a body, then I will believe I am one with other bodies.  Having a purpose unifies.  Those who share a purpose are single-minded.  The body (and all that seems to separate me from my Father), stands between me and Joyful Eternity.   From below, from within the battle I am blinded.  From above, I am able to see clearly.

When I share my Father's Purpose, I will want for nothing.  Sorrow of any kind is inconceivable.  Love is my only Awareness.  My Happiness will never suffer change of any kind.  Perhaps I think the battleground can offer spoils to the victor, but could it offer me Perfect Calmness and a sense of Love so Deep and Quiet that nothing can interfere?

Those with the Strength of God in their Awareness never think of battle.  Everything fought for on the battleground is of the body.  Those who know they have Everything, never seek for limitation, nor value anything the body has to offer.  The senselessness of conquest is quite apparent from the quiet above the battleground.  What can conflict with Everything? Could I want anything that offers less?

With the Love of God upholding me, could I find the choice of miracles or murder hard to make?