There are no "outside forces" pitted against me. There is nothing "outside" me. In the dream-world I make attempts at kindness and forgiveness, yet unless I receive "external" gratitude and lavish thanks, I attack. I expect my "gifts" to be received with honor, or I withdraw them. With efforts like these, my idea of God is that His Gifts are loans at best; at worst, they are deceptions that cause me to lower my defenses, only to leave me stripped of all dignity with death waiting to devour me. My idea of God can only be understood in the context of my own feeble "worldly" thoughts.
How easily are God and guilt confused by the mind which does not understand what its thoughts can do. My thoughts are very Powerful. They have created an alternate "reality." When I deny my Strength (as God's Own Son), weakness becomes "salvation" to me. When I see myself as bound in a body, in a world of chaos, this jail becomes my "home." Unwilling to recognize my Strength, I refuse to leave my prison house. In this state of mind I see "guilt" and "salvation" as one. Salvation only seems available to me in the world of dreams as long as I see myself as "guilty," "bad," and "sinful."
The goal of ACIM is to awaken me from the dream of separation from God.
My own gratitude is all my gifts of kindness and forgiveness require. I need no gratitude or thanks from "anyone else." There is only the One, so any gratitude I offer comes back to me. It does not matter if "another" thinks my gifts are unworthy, there is a part of "his mind" that joins with "my mind" in thanking me......it does not matter if my gifts seem unaccepted and ineffectual, they are received where they are given, and thankfully Acknowledged by the Heart of God Himself. Would I take back my gifts when God Himself has gratefully accepted them?
God blesses every gift I give, because when I "give" I give to the One, which includes God and my Self and all the "selves" that seem to exist. If I take back my gifts of kindness and forgiveness, I will believe that God can take back His Own Gifts to me. So I learn to let forgiveness take away the "sins" I think I see outside myself and I will never again think the Gifts of God are temporary only to be taken away again in "death." With the end of this belief, the illusions of fear and death are no more.
ACIM is helping me to recognize myself as God's Son once again. I was lost in a dream, but now I am found....
I cannot dim the Light of my Perfection. In my own heart is the Heart of God. He holds me dear because I am Himself. All gratitude I give belongs to me, because there is only the One. I will give thanks and be grateful for the words of Truth I have received and for the countless opportunities to "forgive." For in offering forgiveness, it comes back to me and my own mind is healed. I am learning again, to think with the Mind of God ~ my True State of Being....my Reality. I will earn the gratitude I have denied myself by offering it to "others."
"The Gratitude I offer comes back to me."
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